


Civil Conversations

by NateC7



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: American Civil War, Civil War AU, F/F, Fluff, Originally a history paper so might seem a bit rushed, lapidot - Freeform, pining kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 23:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16650022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NateC7/pseuds/NateC7
Summary: Lapidot Civil War Au where Lapis is a woman disguised a man fighting in the confederacy. She gets wounded and meets Peridot who is a nurse and gay things happen.





	Civil Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! As said in the tags this was originally a history paper. I did get permission from my history professor to write a fictional work, so I took advantage and made a Lapidot fanfiction! I have removed all the citations I've found but if you see one that I missed please let me know. Of course I'm not trying to claim ownership of any of the information in this work but it is a fanfiction site and well you guys don't normally read citations in fanfiction. Anyway enough of my rambling, onwards with the story! Hope you enjoy!!

Lapis Laurens had known she was already taking a big risk just by disguising herself as a man for the sake of enlisting in the Union Army. She knew that it was very possible that she would die in battle. So she should have known that if she was injured, she would need to go to a hospital and get her wound treated. Whoever treated her would surely find out her true gender. 

So there she lay on the ground, a gaping hole in her shoulder where a bullet had made its way into her flesh, and worse, in her shoulder bone. Lapis had her hand pressed tightly over the wound, her fingers sticky with dried blood. Her entire left side felt like it was on fire. Lapis had already tried to move her fingers on her left arm, but found she could not. 

A fellow soldier had been kind enough to drag her out of further harm’s way but ended up getting shot by a stray bullet. Lapis was left only a few hundred yards away from the Pittsburgh Landing where much of the battle had taken place. That had been three hours ago, and Lapis didn’t know how much longer she had left before she bled out completely. The fighting had died down and she could see a medical team coming towards the landing from the direction of the Ohio River.  

She tried to sit up but found that she couldn’t without taking her hand off the wound in her shoulder. Not to mention any excessive movement made pain shoot through her body like another round of bullets. Luckily her small movement had drawn the notice of a couple of men and she felt both relief and despair as they rushed over to her. She would get to live a little longer, but would probably die as soon as someone discovered her secret. 

The relief quickly faded as she realized they were Union men, judging by their uniforms. To her surprise however, one man quickly scooped her up as the other shouted out something to the rest of the team. The man carefully set her on her feet and Lapis found that she was at least able to walk. Still, she leaned on the man for support as her legs were a bit wobbly. 

Perhaps she would be taken to a neutral hospital? Her relief returned only to vanish again as Lapis realized the men were leading her to the river. Great, she was going to be thrown into the water and left to drown. She noticed a few large boats on the riverside and saw many more wounded soldiers being carried over and brought onboard said boats. Relief creeped back onto her shoulders, but she didn’t allow herself to lower her guard completely. 

She cleared her throat to draw the attention of the man supporting her and spoke in a practiced deep voice, “Where am I going?” 

“To get treatment,” the man replied as he approached one of the boats. 

With his help, Lapis carefully boarded the boat and was approached by a young nurse who was a few inches shorter than her. The nurse had rectangular glasses and blonde hair pulled into a tight bun. Her clothing was white and neutral, which told Lapis it didn’t matter what side she was on.  She would still get help either way. Now came the tricky part. 

Lapis let the nurse take her arm with one hand and wrap another arm around her waist to keep her steady. She kept her grip on her shoulder while the nurse led her inside the boat. She was taken to an empty bed closer to a wall lined with all sorts of medical equipment. 

The nurse gestured for Lapis to sit down. The soldier hesitated, knowing this was where she got caught. Her shoulder ached and throbbed with pain, and her jacket sleeve was already stained a dark red. Despite this pain, she was still uncertain of what to do in this situation. 

“Please sit down sir, I’m gonna get some morphine into your body to help with the pain straight away,” the nurse said sternly. “What was your name again?” 

Lapis felt her throat go dry. She could lie even though she would get caught being a woman in five or ten minutes. 

She cleared her throat and said, “Robert Laurens. Bob to my friends. Also I’m pretty sure the bullet is still in there.” 

The nurse nodded and said, “My name is Peridot Olivine. Keep your hand there. I’ll relieve you of it in a second.” 

Lapis swore mentally. She watched the nurse get a needle and she swallowed hard. Peridot took her good arm and pushed her sleeve up as much as she could, revealing the slender shape of her wrist. The nurse raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. Without warning, Peridot stuck the needle into Lapis, making the soldier cry out in shock. Lapis was barely able to keep her cry of surprise as masculine as possible. However, Peridot’s look told her the attempt had not gone unnoticed. 

Lapis took a deep breath. It was now or never. She could take a chance that this nurse would help her. It was the best thing she could think of. So Lapis lowered her voice and spoke normally, in a whisper that only Peridot could hear.

“Thank you,” she murmured in a light, very feminine voice. 

The nurse’s eyes widened and she stared at Lapis for a good five seconds. Then she turned away from Lapis and grabbed the curtain next to her bed, pulling it so that it concealed their section of the room. Then she turned, grabbing a pair of scissors and pointing it at Lapis in a threatening manner.

“Are you insane?” Peridot snapped in a harsh whisper.

“Possibly,” Lapis replied, speaking in a deep masculine voice again. 

Peridot sighed and asked, “Are you with those Crystal Clods?” 

Lapis’s brows furrowed in confusion, the burning sensation in her wounded arm momentarily forgotten. “Who?” 

Peridot shook her head. “Nevermind. They were a group of female soldiers who were in here earlier and they got sent to Evansville Hospital. I thought maybe you were left behind.”

Lapis blinked. There had been other women disguised as men on the same battlefield as her? She came to the conclusion that they had been on the Union side, since she would have surely noticed masquerading women in the Confederacy. Besides, the troop she was in had been led by General Grant himself. Not very many things escaped his notice. Except herself, Lapis thought wryly.

She gave the other woman a pleading look and begged, “Please don’t tell anyone.” 

Peridot rolled her eyes. “Relax. I didn’t report those girls and I’m not going to report you. Now sit down please so I can wrap you up.” 

This time, Lapis allowed relief to completely wash over her. She took a seat on the bed and let Peridot get to work covering up her gunshot wound. It still hurt like hell but the morphine was definitely helping ease off most of the pain. Lapis watched the nurse work. Peridot’s face was inches away from hers, and Lapis noticed how defined her cheekbones were. Her nose had a splash of freckles and underneath was a pair of very soft looking lips. 

She could feel Peridot’s warm breath on her shoulder and she shivered involuntarily. Peridot didn’t react, or maybe she thought Lapis was cold. Lapis zipped her jacket back up once Peridot was done, feeling more secure with her chest completely hidden from view. 

“So ‘Bob,’” Peridot began, “What made you decide to take a suicide risk and join the confederacy?” Lapis was greatful the nurse was keeping her voice in a whisper. 

“It’s Lapis,” she corrected Peridot with a frown. “I’m not particularly proud that the south runs on slavery but...I’m not as alone with them around.” 

Peridot tilted her head curiously. “How do you mean?” 

Lapis sighed, looking down at her hands. “My husband...late husband never paid any attention to me. Too wrapped up in his own head to care about me. His slaves were my only friends.” 

Peridot made a ‘hmm’ sound and sat down next to Lapis to her surprise. “And so...you joined because you don’t want to lose them?” 

“Y-yes,” said Lapis, feeling heat rise up into her cheeks. “I know they were forced into this life and it’s not fair to them but they’re all I have.” 

“That is very unfortunate indeed,” Peridot murmured. “I’ve sworn to neutrality but...I understand where you’re coming from.” 

Lapis let out a snort. “How? Have you ever been alone in your life?” 

Peridot’s expression darkened. “Of course I have. My entire life I’ve been told to just look pretty. Don’t bother with reading or studying science and medicine. Don’t ask so many questions and stay in my place.” She sighed heavily. “Before I joined the Union’s medical forces, I never met a single person who shared my interests. So yes, I have been alone more than you think.” 

Lapis’s brows shot up in surprise. She had envisioned those in the north living a life of luxury. In fact, she had that the northerners were the selfish ones. Instead, Lapis was being self centered by thinking she was the only person to have ever been alone. Before she could say anything, Peridot continued speaking. 

“I’m sorry to say this but seeing as that bullet has cut through nerve and bone, it is very likely you’ll have to lose your arm. We don’t have the tools to do a full amputation here. Considering your situation, I’ll assume full responsibility of your care. This boat will be taking us to Evansville hospital so I will get a room set up for you there.” 

Her voice was a bit cold, and Lapis realized she had probably touched a sore spot. She  The female soldier didn’t press any further and watched as Peridot grabbed a notebook and jotted some stuff down with a pencil. Suddenly the curtain was pulled back and Lapis tensed, fearing the worst. However it was just another nurse who needed to speak with Peridot. 

Lapis frowned slightly when she saw Peridot’s shoulders tense up. The other nurse was reprimanding her for something that had happened earlier. Lapis guessed the nurse might have been Peridot’s supervisor. Peridot redirected the conversation, explaining Lapis’s situation while keeping her identity a secret. Someone would get in touch with her commanding officer so she could be excused from active duty. Peridot’s supervisor narrowed her eyes at the nurse, but eventually retreated from view. Lapis noticed how Peridot’s shoulders literally sagged with relief once the supervisor had left them alone. 

“What was that about?” she asked, speaking in a masculine voice again. 

A soft blush rose upon Peridot’s cheeks. “I got a little snippy with her earlier because I was trying to help those clods I told you about. Everything is fine, I promise.” 

Peridot went back to taking notes, not realizing Lapis was staring at her. The soldier in question was curious as why Peridot would choose to act tough most of the time instead of being her kind self that she was when caring for patients. Lapis let her gaze linger for a moment, just long enough for Peridot to take notice.

The nurse let out a huff of annoyance and looked up at Lapis. “Yes?”

“You act tough, but you’re quite kind underneath that tough exterior,” Lapis voiced her observation. “Why not just be kind?” 

“It’s the only way to get any respect,” Peridot replied in a bitter tone. “Otherwise people will walk all over me.” 

“Well,” Lapis offered a smile. “I certainly respect someone who’s willing to keep my secret safe.” 

Peridot huffed again. “Well obviously. You and those Crystal Clods need someone with a rational brain to keep you operational.” 

Lapis ignored the insult and allowed a smirk to grace her lips. “You’re awfully cute when you’re being a softie.” 

This only made Peridot narrow her eyes at Lapis, despite the red hot blush forming on her cheeks. 

“Shut it you. I need to submit your information in so I’ll be right back.” 

“And that color makes you look even cuter,” Lapis added, rather liking how she was riling the nurse up. 

Peridot muttered under her breath as she left with her notebook in hand. Lapis watched her as she moved through the crowded tent to a table where several surgeons and uniformed officers were gathered. She wasn’t just teasing about Peridot being cute. The nurse was really pretty, with that blonde hair and freckled face. And earlier when Peridot was taking care of her shoulder, Lapis had noticed how soft her lips looked. 

Lapis blinked, realizing where her thoughts were going. Where had  _ that _ come from? Lapis shook her head. She was definitely straight. She even used to have a husband. Surely it was perfectly normal to appreciate another woman’s looks? The soldier took a deep breath and exhaled, assuring herself that it was normal to think another woman was cute. It was perfectly normal to think another woman was cute and had very kissable lips. Lapis’s blush deepened as she quickly tried to rationalize that the one kissing those lips would definitely not be her. Definitely not. 

~

The boats left the shore during the night and at dawn the next day, Lapis was brought into the hospital at Evansville. Peridot assured Lapis that her surgery would be done with her most trusted doctors. A ton of morphine made Lapis very woozy and unfocused that she wasn’t sure what was happening during the surgery. At some point exhaustion finally won her over and she fell asleep. 

Lapis woke up feeling very odd. Her side no longer felt like it was on fire. She felt like her upper torso was tightly wrapped in fabric. The fabric didn’t feel like the bandages she had used to try and conceal her breasts. She frowned and looked over towards her wounded arm. Lapis blinked. Well, she had thought she was going to see her wounded arm. However, there was nothing there. She faintly remembered Peridot mentioning amputation and her eyes widened. So they had really done it. She had no arm. 

She looked down, realizing she wasn’t wearing much except for her bandaged body and her hospital gown. Lapis started to panic. She felt so exposed right now. Surely someone had discovered her secret? Had Peridot betrayed her trust? Lapis froze in fear when the door to her room suddenly opened. 

“Relax, it’s only me,” said Peridot upon seeing the look on Lapis’s face. She stepped further into the room and closed the door behind her. “I promise your secret is still safe.” 

Lapis allowed herself to relax. She then noticed Peridot was holding a tray of food. The nurse walked over to her bedside. Peridot set the tray down on the bedside table and helped Lapis sit up in her spot. Then she put the tray on Lapis’s lap and offered the soldier a fork. Lapis took it, glad she still had use of her right arm. 

“I’m guessing it’s been a couple days since you last ate, so take it easy,” Peridot instructed firmly. “Don’t rush.”

Lapis looked down at her tray of pork, beans, and an apple. She really was hungry, but she took Peridot’s advice and took her time eating the food. Peridot seemed to be satisfied with this and took a notebook out of her apron pocket. She started writing some things down, and Lapis stole a glance at her every now and then while she ate and Peridot wrote. 

Finally Peridot looked up from the notebook and at Lapis. “So how are you feeling?” she asked. 

Lapis paused for a moment, assessing herself. Her body still felt very sore but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been the day before. “Substantially better,” was her response. 

Peridot nodded, satisfied with that answer. “Excellent. I need to do a physical assessment now that I’ve assessed your mental state.” 

Lapis swallowed hard, not trying to think too much about the idea of Peridot touching her. This was a simple medical procedure. There was nothing more to it than that. Peridot moved the food tray back to the bedside table so she could do her examination. Lapis stayed very still as Peridot’s hands roamed her body, checking for any signs of pain and a healthy pulse here and there.

“Are you having difficulty breathing?” Peridot’s voice made Lapis jump slightly, pulling her out of her stupor.   


Lapis realized her breaths had been shaky. “N-no, not at all,” she said quickly. “Sorry!” 

Peridot smirked and said, “No ‘arm done.” Her eyes were glinting with humor.

It took a moment before Lapis caught on. “Did...did you just make a pun?” she asked, looking at the smaller woman in surprise. 

Peridot’s smirk grew into a full on grin. “I may have, yes.” 

A very feminine laugh escaped Lapis’s lips, and at normal volume. Lapis felt like she was finally forming some kind of friendship with Peridot and she knew she could trust the nurse. Peridot also seemed comfortable enough with her if she was making puns. 

“Not bad at all, Peridot,” Lapis said. “I’ll take it since it’s coming from you.” 

Peridot’s cheeks turned a light pink. “Well I thought some humor would lighten your mood. You seemed so stressed when I came in.”

“Oh…” Lapis was once again surprised into silence. Peridot seemed genuine in her behavior. She seemed to actually  _ care  _ about Lapis. And she cared enough to try and make Lapis laugh when the soldier was feeling down. That was something Lapis had not received in a very long time--perhaps even since her childhood. She felt her cheeks growing warm. 

“Thank you...I appreciate it. A lot,” Lapis said with sincerity. 

Peridot gave her the biggest smile which Lapis found absolutely adorable. Lapis kept her eyes on that face while Peridot finished her physical examination. Then the nurse glanced down at her notes and made another ‘hmm’ sound.

“I need to go send this report in,” Peridot said. “I suspect you’ll be staying here for a few more days before you can go home.”

Lapis’s happy expression faltered. Home? That’s right, she thought. She was an amputee now, and would definitely not be able to go back into the army. She would have to simply return home. Lapis found it very hard to swallow, as if there were a big lump in her throat. She would be alone again.

A warm hand on her good shoulder drew Lapis out of her spiral. She looked up to see Peridot giving her a sympathetic look. Then Peridot’s statement made her seem less so. 

“I know, your time spent with the amazing Peridot is limited,” the nurse said teasingly. 

Lapis snorted. “Such a tragedy,” she said dryly. 

Yet that was also a true statement, Lapis thought sadly. She had met this amazing person, and while it would certainly stroke the nurse’s ego if she said it out loud, Lapis would definitely miss having her around. So she resolved to make the rest of her time at the hospital as memorable as possible for both of them.

And it was. Peridot spent so much time with Lapis the next few days that the former soldier wondered if the nurse was neglecting any of her other duties. Lapis didn’t really mind. She truly enjoyed Peridot’s company. Of course, all good things must come to an end. This depressing thought weighed on Lapis’s mind on the day she was supposed to go home.

Lapis was stood by her bed in her hospital room, clothed in menswear provided by Peridot. She was staring at her untouched breakfast. The thought of going home and being alone again had ruined her appetite. Then the door opened and Lapis immediately felt all her worries go away. It was Peridot of course. Peridot was the one person in a long time who made Lapis felt like she actually  _ mattered. _ And now she had to say goodbye.

Lapis noticed Peridot was looking at her strangely. She didn’t seem sad. Before Lapis could inquire any further, arms were thrown around her neck and she felt a soft pair of lips press against her own. Naturally, Lapis was surprised at first, but then she melted into the kiss. This felt so right, and Lapis felt complete. 

Peridot pulled away a few moments later, sniffling softly. “I...I don’t want to say goodbye.”

Those words brought tears to Lapis’s eyes, but in a good way. “Me neither Peridot. I...I don’t want to be alone again.” 

The two of them continued to hold each other. Then Lapis got an idea. The idea gave her so much hope, and her heart started beating faster.  “What if...what if you came with me?” She whispered in a soft voice. 

Peridot met Lapis’s eyes, a surprised look on her face. “Wh-what?” she stammered. 

“Come away with me,” Lapis proposed. “We can move out west and start a new life together.” 

Peridot let out a happy gasp, her eyes filling with hope. “I would really like that. Is it possible?” 

Lapis grinned at Peridot. “We can make it work, we’ll figure it out together,” she told her. 

“Yes!” Peridot squealed. “Yes, absolutely!” 

The two of them giggled and their lips met once more. This one was longer than the first one, full of promise and love. Lapis and Peridot would leave the hospital and head back to Lapis’s home in Tennessee. Lapis’s former slaves would join them as they set out west and made a new life together as farmers and lovers. 


End file.
